Parenthood

I used to want a ton of kids. I mean, like at least 5. Growing up I had two siblings and two step-siblings. We had fun. There was always someone to play with, and I could always create a team to gang up on the smaller, weaker siblings. We made up games to play. At that point in my life I decided that I wanted a crap load of kids.

I have since then changed my mind.

I have one kid. Just one. And he's 2 1/2. He drives me nuts. There are some things he does that are so cute I just want to pinch the shit out of him. Other times, well I still want to pinch him, but for much different reasons.

He's been walking for a long time now, I always thought this was a effective mode of transportation. I was wrong. Hopping, like a frog is by far a much better way to get from point A to B while simultaneously irritating your mother. He does, however, redeem himself by squealing, "Look, Mommy, I a frog!"

And that's where he gets you. 10 minutes of constant whining can be miraculously forgotten with a cute one-liner. Sometimes it's something he's already learned, but is still cute every time he says it. Other times, it's completely new and off the wall. Like, "Mommy, I make you cake?" Damn, he knows my weakness.

And for the record, he doesn't actually follow through on the cake promise. If he did, there might not be a need for this entire post. He does however, take the couch cushions and drapes throw blankets over them. I don't know where he learned this, because I certainly don't make cakes that way.

Having a boy, I know I will be enduring a great deal of injuries. I already have. But there are somethings that I can't prevent from happening. I can't force him to open his eyes when he's running through the house. Or when he's spinning in circles. He just likes doing things with his eyes closed. He likes to see how far he can jump from the ottoman to the couch. Sometimes he clears it, sometimes he doesn't. But no matter the severity of the fall or bump, the pain can always be taken away by mommy kissing it. It's bizarre, because I don't ever remember mom kisses curing my ailments. Maybe I'm magical.

The bottom line is, my kid stresses me out. Yeah, he's cute and he uses that to his advantage, but at the end of day, I'm still tired and can't imagine how people deal with more than one.